judge jokes

Many years back, a man by the name of Joshua had to go before my uncle, who was a judge in magistrate court, to be sentenced for a crime he had committed.

Uncle Walter jokingly said, "Are you the Joshua that made the sun stand still?"

The man seriously replied, "No, sir, Your Honor. I'm the Joshua that made the moonshine."

The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, "I don't recognize this court!"

"Any why not?" asked the Judge, sternly.

"Because you've had it decorated since the last time I was here."

A man is arrested for stealing a can of peaches and is brought before the judge.

The judge asks, “How many peaches were in the can?”

The man replies, “Six, Your Honor.”

“In that case, you will go to jail for six days, one for each peach.”

Hearing that, his wife stands and says, “Your Honor, he also stole a can of peas.”