In court, the judge asked the accused, "Did you take Mr. Fred's wallet?"
The accused replied, "Yes, yes I did. I didn't want him to shoot himself."
Confused by the reply, the judge asks, "Why do you think he'd shoot himself with his wallet?"
"Because it was loaded, your honor."
The judge reviews the divorce case very carefully and issues his judgement. "Mr Smith, I am going to give your wife $750 a month."
Mr. Smith's replies, "That's very nice of you, judge. And every once in a while I will send her a little extra too."
"You admit having broken into the dress shop two times?" asked the judge.
"Yes," answered the suspect.
"And what did you steal?"
"A dress, your Honor," he replied.
"One dress?" echoed the judge. "But you admit breaking in twice!"
"Yes, your Honor," sighed the suspect. "I had to exchange it. My wife didn't like the color."