judge jokes

A man is arrested for stealing a can of peaches and is brought before the judge.

The judge asks, “How many peaches were in the can?”

The man replies, “Six, Your Honor.”

“In that case, you will go to jail for six days, one for each peach.”

Hearing that, his wife stands and says, “Your Honor, he also stole a can of peas.”

The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drinking. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs.

"Now don't let me ever see your face again," said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go.

"I'm afraid I can't promise that, sir," said the released man.

"And why not?"

"Because I'm the barman at your regular pub."

Judge: Silence in court! The next person who laughs again will be thrown out of court.

Accused: Hahahaha

Judge: I wasn't talking to you!