What did the vet say when Schrodinger went to pick up his cat?
"I have good news and bad news..."
Why are chemists bad at playing pranks?
They lack the element of surprise.
I found a method that I can drop an egg from 6 feet and have it not break...
Drop it from 7 feet! (It won't break those first 6 feet!)
A chemist's favorite carnival ride is...
The Ferrous Wheel!