bar & drinking jokes

Category: "Bar & Drinking Jokes"
$50.00 won 10 votes

As he stood at the bar for the first time with his son the proud father said, "Now is as good of time to talk about some of the facts of life. Remember. a man that drinks beyond his capacity is no gentleman. To enjoy life you must observe a happy medium. Have a drink occasionally, but never, never, never get drunk."

"Yes sir," replied his dutiful son, "but how am I to know when I am drunk?"

"Well, you see those two men over there in the corner?" said the father. "If you were to see four men, you'd know you were drunk."

"Dad, let me have the keys," grinned the son. "There's only one guy over there."

10 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "barber7796" |
2 votes

"Did you ever pause and think about the opportunities you missed?"

"Nah, It would be just my luck to miss some more while I was reflecting."

2 votes

posted by "Everleigh" |
$7.00 won 4 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

I am so old...

When walking into a bar they checked my pulse instead of my ID!

4 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Ben" |
$50.00 won 8 votes

A guy, desperate for a drink walks into a candy store. He looks around and after a while the storekeeper says, "Can I help you with anything?"

The guy replies, "Yeah, I really need a drink! Got any liquor?"

"Well, I'm not sure but there is this here," replies the storekeeper.

"What is that?"

"It's liquor-ish"

8 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Danny Jackson" |