Customer: Barkeep, what’s the special today?
Barkeep: It’s an original drink we call the Zomazoid. It’s made with 2 shots each of 100 proof alcohols. It contains Vodka, Tennessee Whiskey, Tequila, and Scotch, topped with Irish Cream and Banana slices.
Customer: What do the customers that order this drink say about it?
Barkeep: No one really knows, we can’t understand what they’re saying.
One Saturday evening a man walked into a bar and said, "Excuse me, I would like a pint of beer." The bartender served the man his drink and said, "That will be four dollars." The customer pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and handed it to the bartender.
"Sorry, sir," the bartender said, "but I can't accept that."
So the man pulls out a ten-dollar bill, and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the puzzled man asked the barkeep.
Pointing to a neon sign behind the bar, the bartender explained, "This is a Singles Bar."
A notice board at a restaurant: "Eat, drink, have fun....your grandson will pay the bill!"
After a tummy filled meal, Albert was approached by the waiter with the bill.
Albert pointed the waiter to the notice board.
Waiter: "This is your grandfather's bill."