bar & drinking jokes

Question: What do you get when you mix vodka, orange juice, and milk of magnesia?

Answer: A Phillips' screwdriver.

A man walks into a bar and sees a bunch of people waiting to get refreshments.

He asks the bartender, "Is this really the punch line?"

A man in a bar stood up and shouted, "Lawyers are Bullies!"

A guy at the other end of the bar shouted back, "I move to STRIKE!"

The first guy asked, "Are you a lawyer?"

The second guy responded, "No, I'm a BULLY!"

A cop pulled over two drunks, and asked to the first, "What's your name and address?"

"I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address."

The cop turned to the second drunk, and asked the same question. "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."