bar & drinking jokes

Category: "Bar & Drinking Jokes"
0 votes

A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac.

The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won't see him. The barman looks down at him and says, "What's the matter with you? Why are you hiding? You've got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a piece of tarmac?

The motorway replies, "You don't know him like I do. He's a cyclepath."

0 votes

posted by "Merkv814" |
12 votes

It was enough to startle the little old lady out of her roots. There was the fish market person tossing trout clear across his shop to a man in fisherman uniform.

The fishermen caught six fish and then said: "All right Joe. Now I can truthfully tell my wife I caught six fish today."

12 votes

posted by "barber7796" |
$25.00 won 9 votes
 

I’m giving up drinking until Christmas!

Sorry, bad punctuation.

I’m giving up, drinking until Christmas!

9 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Chloe2015" |
$8.00 won 6 votes
rating rating rating rating rating
 

An epidemiologist, a scientist and a doctor walk into a bar...

... just kidding, they know better.

6 votes

Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |