What do you call a 400 pound alcoholic?
A heavy drinker.
I used to think drinking was bad for me.
So I gave up thinking.
Two guys walk into a bar and sit down to eat their lunches.
Then the bartender says, ”Sorry, but you can’t eat your own food in here.”
So the two guys look at each other and swap lunches.
Waitress: “What’ll it be, Pops?”
Pops: “I’ll take two eggs, a pancake, a sausage, and a beer.”
Waitress: “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve beer with breakfast.”
Pops: “Dang it! Well then why the heck do you call yourself IHOP?”