bar & drinking jokes
Favorite this joke "Did you ever pause and think about the opportunities you missed?"
"Nah, It would be just my luck to miss some more while I was reflecting."
I am so old...
When walking into a bar they checked my pulse instead of my ID!
A guy, desperate for a drink walks into a candy store. He looks around and after a while the storekeeper says, "Can I help you with anything?"
The guy replies, "Yeah, I really need a drink! Got any liquor?"
"Well, I have something here that could work for you," replies the storekeeper.
"What is it?"
"It's liquor-ish."
"Those are fighting words where I come from!"
"Well, then why don't you fight?!?!"
"Cause I ain't where I come from!"
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