bar & drinking jokes
Favorite this joke I am so old...
When walking into a bar they checked my pulse instead of my ID!
A guy, desperate for a drink walks into a candy store. He looks around and after a while the storekeeper says, "Can I help you with anything?"
The guy replies, "Yeah, I really need a drink! Got any liquor?"
"Well, I'm not sure but there is this here," replies the storekeeper.
"What is that?"
"It's liquor-ish"
"Those are fighting words where I come from!"
"Well, then why don't you fight?!?!"
"Cause I ain't where I come from!"
People are so amazing... if you tell a person that there are 270,678,934,341 stars in the universe, they'll believe you.
However if you put up a sign that says "FRESH PAINT"... that same person has to make a personal investigation!
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