George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie.

Clooney says, “I’ll direct.”

DiCaprio says, “I’ll act.”

McConaughey says, “I’ll write, I’ll write, I’ll write.”

Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest...

Forgive me, for I have synonymed.

What works faster than a calculator?

A calcu-sooner!

What are a giant's pronouns?

Fe/Fi/Fo/Fum.