I went to the doctor the other day and complained about my sore feet.
He said: “Gout!”
I said: “But I’ve only just walked in!”
Where do bicycles go for a drink around here?
Went to see a psychic who was in a bad mood...
...then I saw a clairvoyant who was really grumpy.
I'm just trying to find a happy medium
My wife gave me an ultimatum.
It was her or my addiction to sweets.
The decision was a piece of cake.