Did you know Bruce Lee has a faster older brother?

Sudden Lee.

I renewed my car insurance over the phone today, and as I was about to hang up the woman on the other end asked if I had a pet.

I said, "Yes, I’ve got a dog."

She asked, "Would you like to insure him too?"

I said, "No thanks, he can't drive!"

I'm absolutely heartbroken. My Wife just broke up with me over my chronic gambling addiction...

... But it's okay, I'll win her back.

People call me self-centered...

But that’s enough about them.