Did you know Bruce Lee has a faster older brother?
I renewed my car insurance over the phone today, and as I was about to hang up the woman on the other end asked if I had a pet.
I said, "Yes, I’ve got a dog."
She asked, "Would you like to insure him too?"
I said, "No thanks, he can't drive!"
I'm absolutely heartbroken. My Wife just broke up with me over my chronic gambling addiction...
... But it's okay, I'll win her back.
People call me self-centered...
But that’s enough about them.