Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?

Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.

What starts with an "O" and ends with "nions" and sometimes make you cry?

Opinions.

Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir?

Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife.

Waiter: Rare it is.

If I had $1 every time someone over 40 told me my generation was the problem...

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined!