A struggling zoo's main attraction, a gorilla, dies during their most popular season. They can't afford to lose the gorilla so they secretly hire one of the employees to be a gorilla in a suit for an extra $500 a week.
He quickly becomes even more popular than the original gorilla, everyone wants to see the human like gorilla.
After a few months his popularity begins to wane so he decides to raise the stacks. He climbs out of his enclosure and dangles from a tree in the lion exhibit but he loses his grip and falls.
Scared he begins to yell for help, "Somebody help!"
With this the lion pounces on top of him and whispers, "Shut up or you'll get us both fired!"
An elderly woman walks into the butcher shop and shouts at the butcher, "That leg of lamb you sold me last week shrunk by six inches when I cooked it!"
"That's funny," said the butcher, "my wife knitted me a jumper, and when I washed it, it shrunk by six inches."
"Must have been from the same sheep."