A horse had won a gallop role in a dozen TV Westerns in a single week. He neighed to a colt in the next stall, "All this churning of the midnight oil is wearing me down. I no longer know if I am coming or going."
"You can't continue this way," agreed the colt. "Why not consult your veterinarian? He'll probably prescribe complete rest."
"Not a chance," sighed the horse wearily. "He's also my agent."
A snail was involved in an accident that resulted in his shell being torn completely off.
Hearing about the accident, one of his friends rushed over (as much as a snail can rush) to his friend's house.
"I heard about your accident!" he exclaimed, and then asked, "How are you feeling?"
The recovering snail answered, "Sluggish."
Mama Skunk had two children named In and Out.
The two were always on the go, but rarely in one place at the same time. Whenever In was in, Out was out. Whenever In was out, Out was in.
One day at dinner time, Out was home, but In was no where to be seen. Mama Skunk sent Out out to bring In in for dinner. Out quickly returned with In and Mama was amazed.
"However did you find In so quickly in all the vast forest?" asked Mama.
"Easy," said Out. "Instinct!"