animal jokes

My wife and I went to the dog park yesterday. There was an elderly lady trying to coax her resistant toy poodle to come to her.

Being one that doesn’t mind helping others I picked up the little critter and passed it over to her.

She scowled at me and scurried off. I mentioned to my wife the lady wasn’t very grateful.

My wife replied by saying, “Perhaps you shouldn’t have used the pooper scooper.”

An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, "The parrot I purchased uses improper language."

"I'm surprised," said the owner. "I've never taught that bird to swear."

"Oh, it isn't that," explained the professor. "But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive."

On a slow day with few customers, a clerk at a telegram office looks down from her counter and sees a dog waiting in line.

"Oh, aren't you cute?" she says. "What would you like me to put on your telegram?"

"Bow wow wow, Bow wow wow," the dog replies.

The clerk says in a cutesy voice, "But you can add another 'Bow wow wow' for the same price."

The dog responds, "Now wouldn't that sound a little silly?"