animal jokes
Favorite this joke A scientist, wishing to test out the theory that music had tones to sooth the savage beast, takes a plane trip to Africa. Sitting on a rock in the middle of the jungle, he begins to play classical music on a small violin. Almost immediately, a large collection of animals, lions, monkeys, elephants, zebras, rhinos, birds, leopards and the like, begin gathering around and swaying happily to the music.
Suddenly, a crocodile ambles out of the water, leaps at the scientist and catches him on the throat with its mouth, causing him to pass out from the shock. The other animals glare at the crocodile disapprovingly. "What did you do that for?" a leopard demands. "We were enjoying that."
The crocodile looks up at the group of animals and says, "I don't know about you folks, but Stravinsky's Petrushka leaves me cold."
What's the difference between an elephant and spaghetti?
Elephants don't slip off the end of your fork.
What would you call a bad-tempered gorilla with cotton wool in his ears?
Anything you want, he can't hear you.
As Farmer Giles goes out to his barn one morning, he notices, to his shock, that his cow has been painted purple. Seeing a trail of footprints leading to the house next door, he angrily storms over to the house and beats on the door. "All right, are you the one who painted my cow purple?"
Upon hearing no answer, Giles becomes even angrier and begins beating even harder on the door. "I SAID, ARE YOU THE DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDREL WHO PAINTED MY COW PURPLE?!"
The door slowly opens and a large man walks out; his expression is as dark and craggy as a mine shaft and he is about twice Giles' size. "Yeah, I done it," he says in a voice that sounds like the rumble of thunder. "Yer cow's mooin' kept me awake all night so I painted her purple. What of it?"
Giles shudders, laughs nervously, then replies, "Just wanted to let you know that the first coat was dry."
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