A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. "What is it made of?" she asked.
"Alligator teeth," the Indian replied.
"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us."
"Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To slow down traffic.
You can change a cat's litter box but you can't change its Purr-ceptions!
My poor kitty bumped her head last night and I think I have to take her to the vet to get a CAT scan, or maybe even a PET scan. She's been showing signs of psychosis. She killed a bird and said, "the dog made me do it!"