HENNE Profile

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HENNE

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 1191
# of followers : 28
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 3
Location: United States
won: $ 989.00
0 votes

Sid and Barney head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes.

Sid offers Barney, "Let's say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day." Barney agrees and they enjoy a great game.

After the 8th hole, Barney is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.

"Help me find my ball, you look over there," he says to Sid.

After five minutes, neither has had any luck, and since a lost ball carries a four-point penalty, Barney pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. "I've found my ball!" he announces triumphantly.

Sid looks at him forlornly, "After all the years we've been friends, you'd cheat me on golf for a measly five bucks?!?"

"What do you mean cheat? I found my ball sitting right here!"

"And a liar, too!!!" Sid says with amazement. "I've been standing on your golf ball for the last five minutes!"

0 votes

CATEGORY Golf Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

Two women are talking in a park. The first one says, "See my new diamond ring? My husband bought it for me."

The second one answers, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"

The first one continues, "And see that shiny new car parked over there? My husband bought it for me."

The second one replies, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"

The first one reveals, "And you know that big white house at the top of the hill? My husband is gonna buy that for me."

The second one answers, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"

The first one apologizes, "Oh, I'm sorry, here I am, going on and on about myself! Tell me, what have you been up to?"

The second one responds, "Well, I've just completed a course on politeness."

The first one asks, "A course on politeness? Why would you spend time on something like that?"

The second one answers, "Because I used to say, 'Who gives a damn?' but now I say, 'Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!'"

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$10.00 won 4 votes

One week our preacher preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service. The director then led the choir in singing, 'I Shall Not Be Moved.'

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on giving and how we should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The choir director then led the song, 'Jesus Paid It All.'

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on gossiping and how we should watch our tongues. The hymn was 'I Love To Tell The Story.'

The preacher became disgusted over the situation, and the next Sunday he told the congregation he was considering resigning. The choir then sang 'Oh, Why Not Tonight.'

When the preacher resigned the next week, he told the church that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was taking him away. The choir then sang, 'What A Friend We Have in Jesus.'

4 votes

Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "HENNE" |
4 votes

An elderly lady came to see a young male doctor with her husband. After the consultation was finished, the elderly man suddenly asked the doctor for a piece of paper and a pen. Although a strange request, he complied, and the man quickly wrote something, then handed the folded piece of paper to the doctor. He told him to read it as soon as they had left.

The doctor thought that the man perhaps had an embarrassing medical complaint he didn't want to talk about in front of his wife, so the doctor didn't hesitate in obeying the request. Once the couple had left the room, the doctor sat down and read the piece of paper.

Its contents were thus: "Your fly is undone."

4 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |