A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action.
A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year."
His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl, but I'll take it!"
There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally came down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated magma cum laud from law school, are intelligent, and well spoken. It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer?"
In seconds, the senior partner chooses Paul. Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside.
"I don't understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?"
"I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Robert replies.
"Your hands? What do you mean?"
"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in either of them!"
"I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist.
"I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. You can imagine, I found this very disturbing, and in fact I woke up immediately, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come. Then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream?"
The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding, "A Coke? You call that a breakfast?"