1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 4.
4. You e-mail your colleague at the desk next to you to ask if they're ready to go to lunch.
5. You chat online regularly with a stranger from the U.S., but you haven't spoken to your next-door-neighbor yet this year.
6. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have an e-mail address.
7. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
8. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail rather than in person.
9. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
10. When you make phone calls from home you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
A new remote control for your television was being developed that enables the truly lazy to surf channels while moving even less muscles than before. The new device totally eliminates the need to stretch your arm that little bit more from your couch, to get the remote directly in front of the TV. Now the only muscle you need to move is your finger.
This is just one more step to inventing technologies that turn people into furniture, and their brains into Jell-O.
The company spokesman indicated it wanted to refine the product even more by making it thought-controlled, thereby completely removing the need for any sort of muscle movement at all, but this wouldn't work because it has been discovered that most TV addicts are completely incapable of any kind of thought at all.
Gigahertz: When the rock bands lead singer swan dives from the stage but no one catches him.
Megabyte: When your mouth overrides your ability to keep your job slinging hamburgers.
Hard Drive: That trip you make to the in-laws every Sunday for dinner!
Microwave: When you lift one finger off the steering wheel to wave.
Keyboard: The main structural backbone in ship building.
Algorithms: Highly trained dancing alligators.
Semi-Conductor: Person in training to lead an orchestra.
Terabyte: When a pitbull latches on to the seat of your pants but you emerge unscathed.
C++ code language: When you earned a B but your college professor doesn't like your pink hair.
Blue Tooth: When a lack of brushing goes way beyond the yellow tooth stage.