A stage mother cornered the concert violinist in his dressing room and insisted he listen to a tape of her talented son playing the violin.
The man agreed to listen, and the woman switched on the tape player. “What music!” the violinist thought. A difficult piece, but played with such genius that it brought tears to his eyes. He listened spellbound to the entire recording.
“Madam,” he whispered, "is that your son?”
“No," she replied. “That’s Jascha Heifetz. But my son sounds just like him!”
Paddy was coming back from his holiday in America. As he came through Customs, he had two sacks over his shoulders. The Customs officer asked him what did he have in the sacks. Paddy replied Mobile phones.
The customs officer didn't believe him and asked to be shown. Paddy opened each sack and sure enough each contained quite a few phones. "What are you going to do with all these phones?" asked the officer.
"Oh, they are not for me. My friend, who is a musical director, knew I was going over to America. He asked me to bring him back a 'couple of saxaphones.'"