The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new conductor. Their fears were realized at the very first rehearsal.
The cymbalist, realizing that the conductor did not know what he was doing, angrily clashed his instruments together during a delicate, soft passage.
The music stopped. The conductor, highly agitated, looked angrily around the orchestra, demanding, "All right! Who did that? Who did that?"
Mother to music teacher: “Jimmy has been taking violin lessons for 6 weeks now. What suggestions do you have to assist my son in learning to play the violin?”
Music teacher: “A new bridge for his violin.”
Mother: “OK. Did his get broken?”
Music teacher: “No, I think it will help him get his music across.”
The conductor turned to the viola student and said, “You should have taken up the viola earlier."
“Why?” asked the student. “Do you think the practice would have made me really good?”
“No,” said the conductor. “But you might have given up by now.”