Little Johnny didn't want to go to school so, he grabbed his father's phone and calls his teacher.
Little Johnny (speaking in a manly voice): "Hello, I want to tell you that John won't be able to make it to school today."
Teacher: "Okay, noted. But to whom am I speaking?"
Little Johnny (in deep voice): "You are speaking to my dad."
At school, Little Johnny’s teacher is explaining the meaning of the word instinct to the class.
Little Johnny isn’t paying attention, so the teacher asks him what does instinct mean.
Little Johnny says, “It’s when the person in front of you farts.”
Grandma: "Remember, Johnny, we should never put off til tomorrow what we can do today."
Little Johnny: "Okay, Grandma, that makes good sense, we'd better eat the rest of the cake then."
Teacher: "Little Johnny, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
Little Johnny: "What do you think it is, Sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Little Johnny: "I don't think I know either, Sir."