For his birthday, Little Johnny's parents gave him a bowl of goldfish. His mother carefully explains to him how much responsibility comes with owning a pet and tells him to make sure he remembers to give the fish the care they need every day.
Johnny is responsible with the fish for about one week, after which he begins forgetting to look after them, leaving his parents to feed the fish and clean the tank. After a couple of days, Johnny's mom and dad bring the issue up to him.
"Now Johnny," says his mother. "You have to be more responsible."
"Do you know how many times those fish would have died if we hadn't been there?" his father adds.
"Uhm, I don't know," Johnny replies. "Once?"
Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. His mother leaned over and told him that he was not old enough to partake in the Communion.
When the basket was passed around she leaned over once again to tell him to drop his money in, but Little Johnny held his dollar firmly in his hand, stating...
"If I don't eat, I don't pay!"
Little Johnny's father sees him crying and worriedly asks what's wrong. "Oh," Johnny sniffles. "I lost a nickel."
"There, there, son," his father says kindly. "I'll give you a nice new nickel." He then reaches into his wallet, takes out a nickel, and gives it to Johnny.
Despite his father's kindness, Johnny only cries harder. "Say, what's wrong now, son?" his father asks, very perplexed.
"Now I wish I'd said I lost a quarter!"