The teacher heard Little Johnny use some serious language and was shocked. “Little Johnny, don’t you ever use language like that again, not near me, not ever. Where on earth did you learn that?”
“I got it from my dad, Miss,” replies Johnny.
“Well, your daddy should be ashamed. I hope you don’t know what all that even means?”
“Oh but I do,” says Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
During the spelling period the teacher asked the class: "Will anyone volunteer to spell matrimony?"
Little Johnny, being sort of a precocious young boy, stood up and promptly spelled matrimony.
"Now define it," said the teacher.
Little Johnny replied, "Well, I don't exactly know what it means, but my Aunt Mary says she's had enough of it."
One Saturday Little Johnny went fishing at a pond that was close to his house. After a couple hours of fishing the owner of the pond approached and indicated to Little Johnny that there was a "No Fishing" sign.
Little Johnny replied, "Well the fellow that printed that sign knew what he was talking about."