A new Priest arrived in a small town and was trying to find the local church.
He spotted Little Johnny playing in the street and said "could you help me please"
Could you tell me where the local church is?
Little Johnny said, "sure, if you go down the street to the 2nd crossing, then turn right, go about another 200 metres and turn left at the next turning and you will find the church about 200 metres on the left side of the road"
Thank you said the priest and if you come to church on Sunday, I will help you find God.
No chance said Johnny, if you could find the church, what chance have you got in finding God???
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses legs and rump, and chest..
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I am buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."
Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
" Dad who built the Suez Canal"
" I don't know son"
" Dad who discovered penicillin "
" I've no idea son"
" Dad what's the capital of Italy "
" I ain't got a clue son"
"Dad you don't mind me asking all these questions do you"
"No son, if you don't ask you won't learn anything "
Little Johnny and a friend were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. “What’s it for?’ his friend asked. “I don’t know,” little Johnny replied. “I think you stand on it and it makes you mad. At least it does that for my Mom and Dad.”