dumb criminals jokes

Category: "Dumb Criminals"
1 votes

Two robbers steal a goat and two chickens.

They decide to split the loot so one robber says to the other, "You take one chicken, and me and the goat will take the other one."

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "DannyC" |
1 votes

A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store.

On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: "Please don't use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob."

He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging.

As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning: "My confidence in human nature has been rudely shaken."

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "merk" |
1 votes

What did one bank robber say to her partner when she managed to get them caught?

"Who ever said that crime doesn't pay must have worked with you!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Ferdinand Uzi Wang" |
1 votes

In the aftermath of a recent hurricane a neighbor reported a man trying to break open an ATM in his back yard resulting in his arrest.

Judge: What do you have to say for yourself sir?

Defendant: The hurricane dropped the ATM in my back yard. The only reason I was trying to open it was to locate a serial number so I could find the owner?

Judge: What about the other five ATM’s the police found in your garage?

Defendant: Well, your honor, it’s been a bad hurricane season this year.

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Marty" |