dumb criminals jokes

Category: "Dumb Criminals"
1 votes

A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store.

On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: "Please don't use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob."

He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging.

As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning: "My confidence in human nature has been rudely shaken."

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "merk" |
1 votes

What did one bank robber say to her partner when she managed to get them caught?

"Who ever said that crime doesn't pay must have worked with you!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Ferdinand Uzi Wang" |
1 votes

In the aftermath of a recent hurricane a neighbor reported a man trying to break open an ATM in his back yard resulting in his arrest.

Judge: What do you have to say for yourself sir?

Defendant: The hurricane dropped the ATM in my back yard. The only reason I was trying to open it was to locate a serial number so I could find the owner?

Judge: What about the other five ATM’s the police found in your garage?

Defendant: Well, your honor, it’s been a bad hurricane season this year.

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

SHERIFF: Miss Morgendorfer, I thought I told you that I didn't want to see your face in my station again?

MISS MORGENDOFER: Well, that's what I told the officer who arrested me, but she didn't want to listen, so here I am.

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Ferdinand Uzi Wang" |