dumb criminals jokes

Category: "Dumb Criminals"
$12.00 won 8 votes

Judge: "Why did you steal from the same shop twice?"

Thief: "Because the shop had a board that said, 'Thank you, come again!'"

8 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Heaven" |
1 votes

Judge to the thief: “Since there is no witness to your stealing, I am releasing you. Otherwise you would have got at least 6 months.”

Thief: "Your honor, kindly punish me for at least a week in jail. I have to collect money from a few inmates who borrowed money from me last time."

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "KG Raghunandanan" |
1 votes

A Judge sentences the same repeat offender to prison for life this time, because of a white collar crime that he was found guilty of by a jury. The man is greeted by the same Corrections Officer that he first met twenty years ago.

Guard: "Well, look who's back again! You just can't stay out of trouble, now can you?"

Inmate: "You need to be more appreciative and thankful for my return."

Guard: "Really now! And why is that?"

Inmate: "Because without people like me in this world, you'd be out of a job!"

1 votes

$5.00 won 4 votes
 

I was recently out for an evening with friends and had more than several beers, followed by a couple of bottles of red wine and then a few vodka shots. Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was just slightly over the limit.

That's when I did something I've never done before: I took a taxi.

On the way home, there was a police roadblock. But since it was a taxi, they waved it past, and I arrived safely home without incident. This was a real surprise to me.

Why?

Well, because I had never driven a taxi before.

4 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "HENNE" |