dumb criminals jokes

Category: "Dumb Criminals"
$25.00 won 10 votes

The lawyer was defending a man accused of housebreaking, and said to the court:
"Your Honor, I submit that my client did not break into the house at all. He found the parlor window open and merely inserted his right arm and removed a few trifling articles. Now my clients arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish an individual committed by one of his limbs."

The Judge considered this argument for several minutes then declared: "That argument is very well put. Following it logically, I sentence the defendant's arm to one years imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.

The defendant smiled, stood up and his lawyer helped him unscrew his clients cork arm, and, leaving it with the Judge and walked out.

10 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$8.00 won 8 votes
 

Victim (after burglary): They stole everything from my house but the soap and towels.

Policeman: Why, those dirty crooks!

8 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$50.00 won 11 votes

The same guy has robbed the same bank three times in the last 30 days.

The FBI, in charge of preventing a fourth robbery ask the nervous bank teller, "Have you noticed anything in particular about the robber?"

"Yes," the teller replied. "I notice that each time he comes into the bank he's much better dressed."

11 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "barber7796" |
3 votes

I freaked out the electrician by opening the door in just my underwear.

I couldn’t tell what gave him a bigger shock – whether the fact that I was practically naked or that I got into his house.

3 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |