dumb criminals jokes

Category: "Dumb Criminals"
2 votes

A Judge sentences the same repeat offender to prison for life this time, because of a white collar crime that he was found guilty of by a jury. The man is greeted by the same Corrections Officer that he first met twenty years ago.

Guard: "Well, look who's back again! You just can't stay out of trouble, now can you?"

Inmate: "You need to be more appreciative and thankful for my return."

Guard: "Really now! And why is that?"

Inmate: "Because without people like me in this world, you'd be out of a job!"

2 votes

$5.00 won 3 votes
 

I was recently out for an evening with friends and had more than several beers, followed by a couple of bottles of red wine and then a few vodka shots. Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was just slightly over the limit.

That's when I did something I've never done before: I took a taxi.

On the way home, there was a police roadblock. But since it was a taxi, they waved it past, and I arrived safely home without incident. This was a real surprise to me.

Why?

Well, because I had never driven a taxi before.

3 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

Teller at the bank answers the phone: "American National Bank. How may I help you?"

Dumb Criminal: "I've got a gun. Fax me all your money immediately, and no one gets hurt."

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Douglas" |
2 votes

A guard tells a prisoner, "You will be released from prison at 5 a.m. tomorrow."

The prisoner replies, "Can we make it 9 a.m.? I'm not up yet at 5."

2 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Shenghen" |