dumb criminals jokes

Category: "Dumb Criminals"
$50.00 won 11 votes

After separate but lengthy trials two guys meet in a prison-cell and tried to get the upper or lower bunk.

PRISONER #1: How long are you here for? 

PRISONER#2 : Twenty-seven years. Hwo long are you in for? 

PRISIONER #1 : Twenty-five years. 

PRISONER #2 : Well,then, you sleep by the door: you'll get out before me. 

11 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$8.00 won 4 votes

A woman visits her husband in prison. Before leaving, she tells a corrections officer, "You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"

The officer laughs, saying, "Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!"

"That's not true!" she shouts. "He just told me he is been digging a tunnel for months!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Jenmo1" |
$10.00 won 6 votes
 

Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed in the van as look out and the other went into the storeroom.

Fifteen minutes went by, then half an hour, then an hour, and no sign of him. The look out finally grew impatient and went to look for his partner. Inside the store the two came face to face.

"Where have you been?" demanded the worried look out.

"The boss told me to take a bath, but I couldn't find the soap and a towel.

6 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "HENNE" |
5 votes

A first-time prisoner is placed in his cell with a cellmate. Before long it is time for "lights out" and the cell-block becomes dark nearly silent.

Eventually, a voice from across the cell-block cries out "twenty-two!" and everyone breaks out into loud and prolonged laughter. A little while later another voice calls out "forty-one!" and again the entire cell-block enjoys a hearty laugh.

The new prisoner is confused and asks his cellmate what this is all about. The cellmate replies that they have been in prison so long that rather than tell the same jokes over and over, they have assigned numbers to them as a more efficient way to tell jokes. The new prisoner asks if he could give it a try. His cellmate says, "Sure, why not tell number eighteen!"

No response whatsoever, not even a snicker. The new prisoner is confused and asks his cellmate what went wrong. The cellmate replies, "Some people just don't know how to tell a joke."

5 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "HENNE" |