In the aftermath of a recent hurricane a neighbor reported a man trying to break open an ATM in his back yard resulting in his arrest.
Judge: What do you have to say for yourself sir?
Defendant: The hurricane dropped the ATM in my back yard. The only reason I was trying to open it was to locate a serial number so I could find the owner?
Judge: What about the other five ATM’s the police found in your garage?
Defendant: Well, your honor, it’s been a bad hurricane season this year.
SHERIFF: Miss Morgendorfer, I thought I told you that I didn't want to see your face in my station again?
MISS MORGENDOFER: Well, that's what I told the officer who arrested me, but she didn't want to listen, so here I am.
Two hitmen are walking together deep into a scary woodland.
The first hitman says, “I don’t mind admitting I feel a little afraid!”
The second hitman replies,” How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!”
While prosecuting a robbery case, I conducted an interview with the arresting officer. My first question was, “Did you see the defendant at the scene?”
“Yes, from a block away,” the officer answered.
“Was the area well lit?”
“No. It was pretty dark.”
“Then how could you identify the defendant?” I asked, concerned.
Looking at me as if I were nuts, he answered, “I’d recognize my cousin anywhere.”