dumb criminals jokes

Category: "Dumb Criminals"
$5.00 won 4 votes
 

I was recently out for an evening with friends and had more than several beers, followed by a couple of bottles of red wine and then a few vodka shots. Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was just slightly over the limit.

That's when I did something I've never done before: I took a taxi.

On the way home, there was a police roadblock. But since it was a taxi, they waved it past, and I arrived safely home without incident. This was a real surprise to me.

Why?

Well, because I had never driven a taxi before.

4 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

Teller at the bank answers the phone: "American National Bank. How may I help you?"

Dumb Criminal: "I've got a gun. Fax me all your money immediately, and no one gets hurt."

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Douglas" |
2 votes

A guard tells a prisoner, "You will be released from prison at 5 a.m. tomorrow."

The prisoner replies, "Can we make it 9 a.m.? I'm not up yet at 5."

2 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Shenghen" |
1 votes

A deputy arrested a young man. The young man was verbally complaining to the officer about the injustice of him being arrested. He proclaimed his innocence over and over.

The verbal barrage went on for about fifteen minutes as the deputy drove the young man to jail. Finally the young man asked the officer in a loud voice, "So tell me then, what do you do when you catch a real criminal?"

The deputy shook his head sadly and responded, "I don't know. All I've ever caught are innocent people."

1 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
posted by "Douglas" |