A saleswoman is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."
"Don't you have a phone in your car?"
"That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."
"Uh... how's that working?"
"Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."
"And why do you think that is?"
"I figure its because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer. The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable purchasing it.
The first nun replied that she would handle it without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier was surprised, so the nun said, “This is for washing our hair.”
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer, “The curlers are on me.”
A man walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.
"Well they feel a bit tight," replies the man.
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man's feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says.
"Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth."