A salesman was going door to door trying to sell his wares. As he walked up to the next house, he noticed a small boy sitting on the front steps.
"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked the small boy.
"Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past.
The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home?!"
The kid replied, "She is, but this isn't where I live."
A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn’t want to spend a lot of money. “How much do they cost?” he asked the salesman.
“Anywhere from $2 to $2,000.”
“Can I see the $2 model?” said the customer.
The salesman put the device around the man’s neck and said, “You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket.”
“How does it work?” asked the customer.
“For $2, it doesn’t work,” said the salesman. “But when people see it on you, they’ll talk louder!”
My buddy applied for a job as an insurance salesman. Where the form requested "prior experience" he wrote "lifeguard." That was it. Nothing else.
"We're looking for someone who can not only sell insurance, but who can sell himself as well," said the hiring manager. "How does working as a lifeguard pertain to salesmanship?"
My friend replied, "I couldn't swim."
He got the job.
A young salesperson peeped into the office of someone who looked like a sales manager, muttered something, then started walking away. After retreating a little he seemed to change his mind and headed back to the door -- where after some hesitation, he started to back away again. The sales manager, feeling sorry for the young man, and surprised that he was so badly trained, called him in.
"You're a salesperson aren't you? What are you selling?"
"Sir ... uh ... yes ... I'm a salesman. I'm sorry to bother you. I was selling insurance, but I'm sure you don't want any. Sorry to have wasted your time."
Feeling sorry for the young bungler, the sales manager bought two policies to give the young salesman some confidence and then started teaching him about selling. He said: "You should have different pre-planned approaches for different kinds of—"
"But I do, sir,” the young salesman interrupted, “the one I just used is my planned approach for sales managers. It always works. Thank you!"