lawyer jokes

Category: "Lawyer Jokes"
6 votes

The insurance agent was having quite an easy time selling Mrs. Cunningham insurance on her husband's life. In fact he thought it was too easy.

When all the details were finalized Mrs. Cunningham casually asked, "Now if my husband should die tomorrow what would I get?"

"That would depend entirely," the insurance man replied, "on how the evidence is presented to the jury."

6 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "Benjones" |
$50.00 won 10 votes

A lawyer's dog is having a great time running around the neighborhood unleashed — it heads directly to the butcher shop and pilfers a roast. 

The butcher heads over to the lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"

The lawyer replies, "Absolutely," and the butcher informs him that he owes him $18.50 because his unleashed dog just stole a roast from his shop. Speechless, the lawyer, goes on to write the butcher a check for the damages. 

A few days later, the butcher checks his mailbox and discovers an envelope from the lawyer. Inside the envelope is an invoice that read: "$75 due for a consultation."

10 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$50.00 won 13 votes
 

Two friends met on the street after not having seen each other for some time, One of them was on crutches.

"Hello!" said the other man. "Why are you on crutches?"

"Car accident," said the man on crutches.

"When did that happen?"

"Oh, about six weeks ago."

"And you still have to be on crutches?"

"Well, my doctor says I could get along without them. My lawyer says I can't."

13 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "maryjones" |
2 votes

Two lawyers were walking along, negotiating a case.

"Look," said one to the other, "let's be honest with each other."

"Okay, you first," replied the other.

That was the end of the discussion.

2 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |