"Did you present the delinquent account to the defendant?" inquired the lawyer of his client.
"I did, sir."
"And what did he say?"
"He told me to go to the hell."
"And what did you do then?"
"Well that's when I came to you."
"Where did the car hit him?" the lawyer ask the medical expert.
"At the junction of the dorsal and cervical vertebrae," replied the expert.
At this point the burly foreman rose from his seat. "Boy oh boy, I've lived in these parts for over fifty years," he protested ponderously, "and I have never heard of that place!"
A nurseryman called a customer that had purchased and had decorated his Christmas tree for years, not knowing that he just had the worst of a financial deal.
Nurseryman: "Are you ready to order your Christmas tree and schedule delivery and decorating it for this year?"
Customer: Yes, I'm ready to schedule delivery but I am going to have my broker decorate it this year."
Nurseryman: "Why your broker?"
Customer: "Its the only thing he hasn't trimmed."
Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present.
Cop: You ARE the lawyer.
Lawyer: So where’s my present?