lawyer jokes

Category: "Lawyer Jokes"
$8.00 won 8 votes

A man was arraigned for assault and battery and brought before the judge.

Judge: What is your name, occupation, and what are you charged with?

Prisoner: My name is Sparky, I am an electrician and I'm charged with battery.

Judge (after recovering his equilibrium): Officer, put this guy in a dry cell.

8 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "barber7796" |
7 votes

The client thumped his crutch on the ground as he confronted his lawyer. "Heavens, man, your bill is outrageous! You are taking three-fifths of my settlement. I never heard of such extortion."

"I furnished the skill, the eloquence and the necessary legal learning for your case," said the lawyer coolly.

"Yes," said the client, "but I furnished the case itself."

"Bosh," sneered the lawyer. "Anyone could fall down a deep hole."

7 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "barber7796" |
$25.00 won 9 votes

The judge wanted to make sure the witness understood the solemnity of the occasion.

"Do you know what the word 'oath' means?" asks the judge.

"Sure do," says the witness. "Oath means if I swear to a lie, I gotta stick with it."

9 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "barber7796" |
$15.00 won 9 votes

A long winded attorney was arguing a technical case before one of the judges of the superior courts. The attorney had rambled on in such a desultory way that it became very difficult to follow his line of thought, and the judge had just yawned very suggestively.

With a trace of sarcasm in his voice, the tiresome attorney ventured to observe: "I sincerely trust that I am not unduly trespassing on the time of this court."

"My friend," returned his honor, "there is considerable difference between trespassing on time and encroaching upon eternity."

9 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "maryjones" |