kid jokes

Got home from work today to find my kids have been on ebay all day.

If they are still there tomorrow I will lower the price.

My son couldn't sleep. So I told him there are cows sleeping in the field outside.

He said: “What’s that go to do with anything?”

I replied: “Because it's pasture bedtime.”

Mrs. Marble, a Sunday School teacher, was telling her students about the time when Lot's wife looked back at Sodom she turned into a pillar of salt.

Little Percy interrupted. “My mommy looked back once while she was driving,” he announced, “and she turned into a telephone pole.”

Me: "The kids haven’t eaten their sandwiches."

Wife: "Okay, just throw them out."

[Later]

Me (helping the kids pack a suitcase): “Look, I’m just as surprised as you are.”