kid jokes

I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room.

The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds."

While the nurse pondered this information, my mother leaned over to me. "Sweetheart," she gently chided, "this is not the Internet."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall...

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...

All the king's horses and all the king's men...

Had scrambled eggs for breakfast again.

Wife: "Whenever I keep money in my purse, our son steals it! I don’t know what to do?"

Husband: "Hide it in his books. I know he will never touch them."

Child (looking at the sky): "Daddy, what are clouds made of?"

Dad: "Well honey, EMC storage and VMware ESXi servers, mostly."

Child: ......