We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance.
At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?"
There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."
When a man's dog died, he took it to the local Baptist church. He asked the preacher if he could have a funeral service for his much loved pet, but the preacher explained that they didn't do services like that for animals.
The man asked who would and the preacher suggested that the Methodist church up the road would probably give the dog a funeral service.
The man asked, "Preacher, do you think $5,000 would be enough payment for the dog's funeral?"
The preacher relied, "Dearest sir, why didn't you tell me that your dog was a Baptist?"