Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules.
Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.
Theology is a game whose object is to bring rules into the subjective.
The preacher was going for a dinner visit at the home of a family where the Dad was a member of the church but the mother was not. The mother was agreeable that her husband could invite the preacher to the house for a meal though. When the preacher arrived, the mother was still working in the kitchen so he sat in the living room getting acquainted with the children.
"What are we having for dinner?" he asked.
"Crow," said the little girl.
"Oh," he said, perplexed, "do you mean chicken?"
"No," said the little girl. "Mommy said we are having the ole crow for dinner."
Fresh out of seminary, a young pastor found an associate position at a prestigious church. One Sunday early on, he was given the opportunity to preach. He prepared diligently - perhaps a bit too excited to use all the learning he'd acquired - and worked hard to make his words eloquent and smooth.
Shaking hands at the end of the service, he was approached by one of the older ladies who was known and respected in both the church and community.
"Sir," she said with a smile, "your sermon was like the peace of God!"
The young preacher's grin widened and his chest puffed a bit, until she continued on... "It surpassed ALL understanding!"
YOU MIGHT BE A PREACHER IF...
- You've dreamed you were preaching, only to awaken and discover you were.
- A church picnic is no picnic.
- You wish people would die at more appropriate times.
- Instead of getting "ticked off," you get "grieved in your spirit."
- You're tempted to take an offering at a family reunion.
- You've ever wanted to "lay hands" on a deacon's neck.
- Everybody stops talking when you enter the room.
- You sometimes stretch the truth at a funeral.
- You've suffered an anxiety attack while playing Bible Trivia Pursuit.
- The ideas you bounce off board members really do.
- You get your second wind when you say "And in conclusion..."