Doug went to the eye doctor for an examination because he was having trouble reading the newspaper. "Now that you're over 40," the doctor told him, "you've developed a condition called 'presbyopia,' in which the lens of your eye can no longer focus as well as it used to."
Seeing his worried look, the doctor tried to be upbeat. "Congratulations!" he said. "You're now officially a presbyope!"
Doug leaned over and asked seriously, "If that means I'm no longer a Roman Catholic, do I still have to go to Confession?"
A pastor assured his congregation he was their servant and that they should feel free to call him anytime they had a problem.
That night the pastor's phone rang at 3 a.m. On the other end was a dear elderly lady who said, "Pastor, I can't sleep."
"I'm so sorry to hear that," he comforted her. "But what can I do about it?" the pastor asked.
She sweetly replied, "Preach to me a while, pastor."