religious jokes

Inscribed in stone over the great front doors of an old church being restored was: “This is the Gate of Heaven.”

Just below it someone had placed a small cardboard sign which read: “Use Other Entrance.”

I was reading the parable of the Good Shepherd to my little girl for her bedtime story. I got to the part about the Good Shepherd counting the 99 sheep, expecting to have 100, and getting ready to go out to find that one lost sheep.

Great bedtime story, great message about a father's infinite love, right?

Then my daughter asks, "Daddy, he was counting sheep, right? When he was counting those ninety-nine sheep, why didn't he fall asleep when he got to around number 20?"

A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he could serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desperate and went to the pastor. "You've got to get that man out of the choir," he said. "If you don't, I'm going to resign. The choir members are going to quit too. Please do something."

So the pastor went to the man and suggested, "Perhaps you should leave the choir."

"Why should I get out of the choir?" he asked.

"Well, five or six people have told me you can't sing."

“That's nothing,” the man snorted. “Fifty people have told me that you can't preach!”