I have planned out my Valentine's Day:

1) Awaken, and have breakfast in bed.

2) Chocolates for lunch.

3) Watch a romantic movie.

4) Dinner for two at a romantic restaurant.

5) Regret eating two dinners.

This may be surprising for many of my friends, but I happen to have a date for Valentine's Day...

It's February 14.

I had an explosion in my kitchen last night.

I combined pasta and antipasto.

I was looking for a job at the local newspaper.

To make a long story short, I got hired as an editor.