After a vacation in London, a couple had a little chat...
Husband: How should I get rid of the British Pounds I brought back?
Wife: Take them to a bank and covert them to dollars.
Husband: I'm not sure they'll do that. I think I just need to eat less and walk more.
While shopping at the supermarket, I did not know where to find some items on my grocery list.
I spotted a store employee and politely asked, “Excuse me, young man, can you tell me where the nuts are?"
The employee answered, “Well, sir, they might be just about anywhere.“
*You've worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug
*You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee
*You've worn the finish off you coffee table
*Instant coffee takes too long
*You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar"
*The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you
*Starbuck's owns the mortgage on your house
*You're so wired you pick up FM radio
*Your life's goal is to "amount to a hill of beans"
*Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position
*Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup
*You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can
When I met my now wife, I asked if she was vegetarian because she really loved animals.
She responded, "No, I just really hate vegetables."