What did the cashew say to the peanuts at church?
"Can I get an ALMOND?!"
A State Police Officer once received a call from a woman who asked him how to baste a turkey. After a stunned moment, he, being a fairly good cook, described the procedure.
Then he asked, "But why would you call the State Police to find out how to baste a turkey?"
There was only a slight hesitation before she replied, "Well, you knew, didn't you?" and hung up.
The Devil whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.”
I whispered in the Devil’s ear, “I like your eggs.”
Mrs. Goldberg was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and asked, "How much are these oranges?"
"Two for a dollar," answered the vendor.
"How much is just one?" she asked.
"Sixty cents," answered the vendor.
"Then I'll take the other one," said Mrs. Goldberg.