Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day...
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
My brother was having a tough time losing weight.
Our sister thought he should cut back gradually, so one day she asked, “Mike would you like to split a doughnut with me?”
Mike answered, “Want to split two?”
I just got a fruit juicer because they say juicing adds years to your life.
What they don’t tell you is the years you add juicing, you lose cleaning your juicer.
Stepping up to the counter at the fast-food restaurant, I asked for a baked potato with butter on the side.
With the gusto of someone newly employed, the teenager taking my order asked, “Which side?”