"Darn!" the man said to his friend while weighing himself at the local drug store scale. "I started on a new diet but the scale says I'm heavier than I was before."
Turning to his friend, he said, "Here, hold my jacket." The scale still indicated that he had not lost any weight.
"OK," he said to his friend. "Hold my Twinkies."
My parents decided to order two pizzas for dinner, planning to use a 50% off coupon for each pizza.
When the bill came, my father handed both coupons to the waitress. She thought for a minute, and held up the coupons side by side.
“Well,” she said, “50 + 50 is 100, so it looks like your pizzas are free!”