food jokes

Restaurant Server: Would you like a table near the window, or near the salad bar, or near the dance floor?

Man: It doesn't matter... as long as it's near a waiter!

I went to an outdoor restaurant earlier, and it started to rain...

Took me 3 hours to finish my soup!

Billy: Though my Aunt is very dear to me the truth is, no one likes her homemade pudding except you Johnny. Tell me why you always get a double helping and also take the leftovers home?

Johnny: I use it to patch the cracks in my driveway; it lasts for years.

Two cowboys were lost in the desert when they spotted a tree draped in bacon strips.

"We're saved!" shouted one cowboy. But when he ran up to the tree, he was shot multiple times.

It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.