What did the time traveler do when he finished his meal and was still hungry?
He went back "four" seconds.
Sometime around two in the morning our phone rang, waking us out of a sound sleep. "Wrong number," my husband growled and slammed down the receiver.
A few minutes later it rang again. I heard him say, "One with pepperoni and extra cheese and one with sausage. Pick up in 20 minutes."
"What was that?" I asked.
"I took his order. Now we can sleep."
Customer: Waiter, I’m hungry. Please bring me a mashed potato sandwich on rye.
Waiter: What are you saying? Only an idiot would order mashed potatoes on rye bread.
Customer: You’re right. Make it on whole wheat toast.
I love bacon.
Sometimes I eat it twice a day.
It helps take my mind off the terrible chest pains I keep getting.