A new paratrooper was struck by all the T-shirts on base emblazoned with the motto "Death from Above"...
Later he noticed a submariner with a T-shirt that declared "Death from Below"...
Then, standing in line for chow one day, he was served by an Army cook. His T-shirt had a skull with a crossed fork and spoon underneath and yet another warning: "Death from Within"!
A Yankee tourist in London went aboard the old battleship "Victory", which was Lord Nelson's flagship in several of his famous navel triumphs.
An English sailor escorted the Yank over the vessel, and coming to a raised brass tablet on the deck, he said, as he reverently removed his hat, "This, sir, is the spot where Lord Nelson fell."
"Oh, it is," replied the American. "Well, that ain't nothing. I nearly tripped on that darn thing myself."
Pulling guard duty in the army is dull work.
But I never realized just how dull until one night, with nothing else to do, I looked underneath my desk.
There I found these words scrawled by a predecessor: Man, you must really be bored!
To show his appreciation to the community, the military base commanding officer held an open house. This included a free meal in the mess hall.
A young private was busing tables when he noticed a family leaving a large tip. "Excuse me. We can't accept tips," he told them.
"It's not for you," said the woman. "That's to help send your cook to culinary school."