military jokes

Category: "Military Jokes"
2 votes

I was scrubbing the bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday morning when the loud-speaker announced:

"Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. Discontinue all unnecessary work."

An hour later, the opinion many of us held regarding our daily routine, was confirmed with this announcement:

"Resume all unnecessary work."

2 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
$6.00 won 2 votes
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I had just become a Second lieutenant in The Marines when my mother and I were walking toward the Iwo Jima monument. We were about to cross the street when a truck was coming toward us. We jumped back out of the way.

The driver, a USMC Gunny Sergeant slowed down, leaned out the window, saluted and told mother, "Don't worry, I wouldn't hit an officer -- there's too much paperwork in it."

2 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Retired Terp" |
3 votes

One month into Marine Corps training in San Diego, California, we were preparing for a ten-mile march in 100-degree weather when a jeep drove up with a large radio in the back.

"Who knows anything about radios?" our drill instructor asked.

Several hands went up, and anticipating a ride in the jeep, recruits began listing their credentials. Everything from a degree in communications to a part-time job in a repair shop was declared.

The DI listened to all the contenders, then pointed to the most qualified. "You!" he barked. "Carry the radio."

3 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
4 votes

Apparently this was an actual radio conversation:

#1: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."

#2: "Recommend that you change YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."

#1: "This is the captain of a U.S. navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."

#2: "No, I say again, divert YOUR course."

#1: "This is the aircraft carrier Enterprise, we are a large warship of the U.S. navy. Divert your course NOW!"

#2: "This is a lighthouse. Your call?"

4 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |