A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret that I cannot remember which one you are. Please keep your photo and return the others.”
A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said, "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest."
24 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man, "Why didn't you raise your hand?"
The man replied, "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge."
The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Even his son turned up.
“How old are you?” a tenant asked.
“I’m 81 years old,” the son answered.
The tenant shook her head. “They sure grow up fast, don’t they?”
A career Army officer I once met was jumpmaster for his unit and was taking up a few novices for a drop. The flight was pretty rough, and after a while, the jumpmaster called off the jump because of high winds. As the plane headed back to base, and the pilot pulled off an unusually smooth landing, two of the neophytes got airsick.
"How come you could take that rough flight, but you couldn't handle the smooth landing?" asked the jumpmaster.
"Well, sir," one trainee explained, "We've always jumped out of planes. We've never actually landed before."