One morning, in basic training, the drill sergeant came out and said he needed a volunteer for KP duty in the mess hall. After a minute of silence he pointed to a recruit and said, "You Volunteered!"
Panicking, the recruit said, "I didn't volunteer..."
The drill sergeant looked at him and said, "Were you drafted?"
The drill sergeant smiled at him and said, "That's right! Therefore you volunteered."
Two soldiers were watching the night sky in Afghanistan when a shooting star came into view. One soldier said, "Look, it's an omen. Something bad is about to happen."
The other one looked and said, "I'm not superstitious. That is not an omen."
In the next instant the shooting star, about the size of a car, crashed to earth landing on top of the soldier. In great pain he slowly crawled out from under the meteorite and said, "Okay, wow... now that's an omen!"
One day in the army I was assigned KP duty. I reported to the Mess Hall and was told by the sergeant in charge that he wanted me to make 100 gallons of soup for tonight's dinner. I told him I didn't know how to make soup. He quickly handed me a book and told me to follow the directions carefully.
Soon after I had a large kettle of soup simmering. The sergeant came up and tasted the soup. He took a second spoonful and stood there staring at me. I thought I had really messed up the soup and was waiting for a reprimand.
Instead the sergeant said, "This tastes really good... are you sure you followed the recipe?"