What happened when they crossed a carrier pigeon with a woodpecker?

The bird not only delivered the mail, but also knocked on the door.

Me to the postman: This empty envelope must be from my sister Charlotte.

Postman: Now why would she send you an empty envelope?

Me: We had an argument, and she's not talking to me..

Me: My sister graduated from college. I wish you could have been there. She wore a cap and nightgown.

Bob: A nightgown?

Me: Yeah. She went to night school.