golf jokes

Category: "Golf Jokes"
4 votes

During her physical examination, a doctor asked a retired woman about her physical activity level. The woman said she spent 3 days a week, every week, in the outdoors.

"Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to the bathroom behind some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away from one angry bull elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered, so I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine."

Amazed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one heck of an outdoor woman!"

"No," the woman replied, "I'm just a really bad golfer!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Golf Jokes
posted by "mcdanijt" |
$10.00 won 5 votes

A golfer was enduring the most miserable round. Every shot he tried seemed to end in disaster. He and his caddie had trailed in and out of woodland, deep rough, a lake and countless sand traps. On the seventeenth hole he was left with a shot of 180 yards to the green.

“Do you think I can get there with a five-iron?” he asked his caddie.

The caddie sighed, “Eventually.”

5 votes

CATEGORY Golf Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "D-Gellybean" |
$50.00 won 9 votes

The golfer sliced a ball into a field of chickens, striking one of the hens and killing it instantly. He was understandably upset, and sought out the farmer.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “my terrible tee-shot hit one of your hens and killed it. Can I replace the hen?”

“I don’t know about that,” replied the farmer, mulling it over. “How many eggs a day do you lay?”

9 votes

CATEGORY Golf Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "barber7796" |
3 votes

A father saw his son out in the backyard cleaning their homemade swing, a rubber tire hanging by a rope from a tree branch. The son was hosing it down, wiping it off, dusting out the inside.

The puzzled father went outside and said, “Son, I thought you were playing on the golf course with your friends this afternoon?”

"I was," replied the boy. "But the golf instructor said I needed to improve my swing."

3 votes

CATEGORY Golf Jokes
posted by "D-Gellybean" |