golf jokes

I like playing golf but it is a hard game to explain.

One day I'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit half the traps and miss most of the greens.

Then then next day I'll go out and for no reason at all, really stink up the course!

"Do you know why the golf pro tells you to keep your head down while swinging?"

"No, why?"

"It's so you can't see him laughing."

Robinson Crusoe, the shipwrecked golfer, made the best of his tiny island. When a cruise liner spotted his distress signals and sent a boat to investigate, the landing party was amazed to find a crude but recognizable nine-hole course which the castaway had played with driftwood woods, whalebone and coral putter and balls carved out of pumice stone.

"Quite a layout," said the officer in charge of the rescuers.

"You're too kind, it's very rough and ready," the goatskin-clad golfer responded. Then he smiled slyly, "I am however, quite proud of the water hazard."