golf jokes

Category: "Golf Jokes"
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Joe says, "How are the golf lessons going Mike?"

"Great, I learned I am standing too close to the ball....after I hit it."

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CATEGORY Golf Jokes
posted by "Bumpa Hennigar" |
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Old Joe was playing golf all alone as he stood on the 150 yard, par three, 9th hole. Just as Joe approached the tee a voice from the heavens said, "Joe use a new ball."

Joe looked around and not a soul was in view, so he put a brand new ball on the tee. Before he could take his shot the same voice called, "Joe, take a practice swing."

Joe obeyed and swung as hard as he could, slightly off balance at the end.

The same voice called one last time, "Joe, use an old ball."

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CATEGORY Golf Jokes
posted by "Bumpa Hennigar" |
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Two guys grow up together but after college one moves to Michigan, the other to Florida. They agree to meet every ten years in Vero Beach and play golf.

At age 30, they finish their round of golf and go to lunch.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Well, you know, they got the pretty girls there."
“OK.”

Ten years later at age 40 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.
“Why?”
“Well, you know, they got cold beer and the big screen TVs and everybody has a little action on the games.”
“OK.”

Ten years later at age 50 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“The food is pretty good and there is plenty of parking.”
”OK.”

At age 60 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Wings are half price.”
“OK”

At age 70 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“They have 6 handicapped spaces right by the door.”
“OK.”

At age 80 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“We’ve never been there before."

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CATEGORY Golf Jokes
posted by "GeneB" |
$10.00 won 3 votes

There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right.

The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was not feeling well and could not make it to church to, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.

An angel up above was watching the preacher. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. Should we teach him a lesson?"

God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup, three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.

The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to teach him a lesson?"

God smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?"

3 votes

CATEGORY Golf Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "CPipe" |