merk Profile



User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 369
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 3
Location: United States
won: $ 323.00
$12.00 won 3 votes

Both sides of our family turned out for my wife's college graduation. After the dean finished awarding all the diploma's, he requested, "Will all the 'cum laudes' please stand up?"

My mother-in-law leaned over and whispered, "Wow! The Cum Laude family sure has a lot of kids!"

3 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "merk" |
1 votes

Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, "I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream."

The waitress replies, "I'm sorry, Monsieur, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?"

1 votes

posted by "merk" |
1 votes

"I hate to have to tell you this," said Dr. Mike Wilson in a sad compassionate voice, "but you have unfortunately been diagnosed with a highly contagious disease. We will have to quarantine you and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."

"That's terrible!" said the distraught young man, quickly sitting down before he could faint. "I don't know if I could handle being in quarantine... and the cheese and bologna diet... What's with the cheese and bologna diet anyway? I've never of such a diet before?!"

"It's not exactly a diet," responded Doctor Wilson, "it's just the only food that will fit under the door."

1 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$10.00 won 3 votes

Your dog's barking at the back door. Your spouse's barking at the front. Who do you let in?

Well, it's your call, but the dog'll stop barking when you let him in.

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "merk" |