merk Profile

Image
 

merk

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 638
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 10
Location: United States
won: $ 630.00
1 votes

A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: "You're what?!?"

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "merk" |
1 votes

An elderly couple was crossing the Canadian border to go to their winter recluse in Florida. At the crossing they were stopped by an over- zealous border guard, on his first day at work. He commenced to ask the couple a battery of questions.

The husband, on behalf of his almost deaf wife, answered the barrage of queries.

Officer: "Where are you going?"
Husband: "We're on vacation and going to Florida."
Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"
Husband: "He wants to know where we're going."

Officer: "How long will you be gone?"
Husband: "About one month."
Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"
Husband: "He wants to know how long we'll be gone."

Officer: "Where are you from?"
Husband: "We're from Toronto, Ontario."
Officer: "Toronto, huh. I was there once. Nice city. Had the worst romantic experience in my life."
Wife: "What did he say? What did he say?"
Husband: "He says he knows you!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "merk" |
1 votes

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"

The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "merk" |
1 votes

It's winter time, the gentle breezes blow,
Seventy miles an hour at twenty-five below.

Oh, how I love, when the snow's up to your butt,
You take a breath of winter and your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful so I guess I'll hang around...
I could never leave 'cause I'm frozen to the ground!

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "merk" |