My young daughter was wearing a beat up old watch a friend had given her.
I asked her, "Does it tell the time?"
My daughter looked at me and said, "No, you have to look at it."
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Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl. Fred t...
My wife packed my bags and told me to leave. As I was headed out the door, she said, "I hope you live a long and lonely life!” I replied, "So now you want me to stay?"
I visited a haunted house today and my friends fled in terror. I've been to this place for the last 271 years and haven't seen a single ghost.
The boss is finally old enough to retire from the company. On his last day of work, he ordered a farewell party for himself. The boss wanted everyone to express their good feeling...
A woman posts her profile on a dating app. Two days later, she gets a message back, saying, "I would love to meet you, but I need to tell you that I am eight feet tall, covered in...
Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlor to get a tattoo. After it wouldn’t wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlor wasn’t there.
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