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In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined. The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens. He declares t...
"What would be the first thing you'd do if you had hydrophobia?" one resident doctor ask another. "I'd ask for a pencil and paper," replied the other doctor. "To make your la...
Man: ”They’ll be changing the metric system soon!” Boy: ”Uh, what’s that?” Man: ”They’ll be changing feet to meters! Boy: ”You mean, we'll be playing meterball?”
It’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering.
A woman was shopping for something to wear to her 50th high school reunion when a group of teenage girls came into the same shop to try on dresses for their school formal. “Gros...
Mary Jones was debating on the best means of dropping her current flame. Her friend ask: "Are you worried because you think he'll tell lies about you?" Mary answered: "I...
A woman was talking to a co-worker, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put anything away, I am always going around the hou...
While on a field trip to a local petting zoo Little Johnny breathlessly rushed up to his teacher and shouted out, "Teacher, teacher, I just saw a man making a horse!" "Oh, Johnn...
Steve met the family doctor on the street. "I hear your wife has gone to Palm Beach for her health," began the doctor. "What did she have?" "Eight hundred dollars her father...
Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
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