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A snake slithered into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink. “I’m sorry,” said the bartender, “but I can’t serve you.” “Why not?” asked the snake. “Because you can’t ho...
Little Johnny goes to the local Farm & Ranch store to buy bird feed. The salesperson ask how many birds does he have? Little Johnny replies, "None, I want to grow some."
An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of...
I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early, I'm going to be a father!" "Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off!" When I returned to work the next day, m...
I phoned my work this morning and said, “Sorry boss, I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.” He said, “You have a wee cough?” I said, “Really? Thanks boss, I could use a...
Two little boys were at a wedding when one leaned over to the other and asked, "How many wives can a man have?" His friend answered, "Sixteen... four better, four worse, four ri...
What flavors of ice cream do you have?" inquired the customer. "Vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate," answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper. Trying to be sympathetic,...
A man is applying for a job in a circus. The interviewer asks: "So what can you do?" "I can do a really good bird impression" replied the man "Oh we already have people who d...
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