My young daughter was wearing a beat up old watch a friend had given her.
I asked her, "Does it tell the time?"
My daughter looked at me and said, "No, you have to look at it."
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Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to operate a helicopter.
nerdasaurus
Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl. Fred t...
merk
Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present? Because the rest of the letters were not-E.
Ryan Faidley
My wife packed my bags and told me to leave. As I was headed out the door, she said, "I hope you live a long and lonely life!” I replied, "So now you want me to stay?"
aod318
An emergency call: "Come quick, my friend was bitten by a wolf!" Operator: "Where?" Caller: "No, a regular one!"
I am innocent
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!" Caddy: "I don't think so, sir, that would be too much of a coincidence!"
S.Sovetts
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