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When I was in school, I used to ask a lot of questions. One day I asked Ms. Doris, our English teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters 'H' like in hour, honest, honor, etc?" Ms...
Remember when everyone had diaries and got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything on Facebook and get mad when they don't!
My wife called. She said, "The two kids want you to take them bowling on Saturday, then afterwards they want you to take them to the cinema." "It's either one or the other," I s...
Joe: Hey Jay. I noticed you have a gambling problem. You should go to Gamblers Anonymous meetings. Jay: I do NOT have a gambling problem! Joe: Yes, my friend. You do. Ja...
Father to Daughter: It's a good thing you chose to takes accounting at school. Daughter: How come? Father: Because I want you to account for coming home at five am this...
My girlfriend just asked me, "When we go to Egypt, can we go on a camel?" I said, "As you wish," and booked it for her. She's going tomorrow... I'm leaving in three weeks and...
A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me shouting, “The end of the world is tonight!” I'm not positive, but I think it was Farmer Geddon.
A woman has a problem with her closet door - it's falling out every time a bus passes by. So she calls a repairman. The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out...
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