Past Winners

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory...

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

My wife gave me an ultimatum.

It was her or my addiction to sweets.

The decision was a piece of cake.

I was walking past a farm and a sign said 'Duck, eggs!'

I thought, "That's an unnecessary comma..."

And then it hit me.

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again.

MAN, I sure am LUCKY!

I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!!!