Waiter: "Sir, shall I cut the pizza into four or eight pieces?"
Customer: "Please cut it into only four. I won't be able to eat eight pieces."
Doctor: "I accidentally left my gloves inside your stomach during your operation. We have to operate on you again."
Patient: "Are you kidding me?!?! Tell you what Doc, take this $10 bill and buy a new pair!"
A customer goes to the bank to make a deposit.
Teller: "Sorry sir. This $100 bill is a fake one. We cannot accept it."
Customer: "What's the big deal? I'm depositing it into my account, right?"
Where is the place pencils like to go for a vacation?
Pencil - Vania!