Past Winners

I opened my birthday card and loads of rice fell out.

I knew right away who sent it...

It was my Uncle Ben.

Mr. and Mrs. Morrison were on a safari in Africa.

As they were walking through the jungle, a huge lion comes creeping out towards them, ready to pounce.

"Shoot!" Mrs. Morrison screamed to her husband. "Shoot!!"

"I can't!" he yelled back. "I'm all out of film!"

A man had just arrived home after the successful implantation of a pacemaker.

Reading through the literature, he was delighted to learn that the instrument carried a lifetime guarantee.

Judge: I know you, don't I?

Defendant: Uh, yes.

Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?

Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you?

Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me.

Defendant: Okay. I was your bookie.