As he stood at the bar for the first time with his son the proud father said, "Now is as good of time to talk about some of the facts of life. Remember. a man that drinks beyond his capacity is no gentleman. To enjoy life you must observe a happy medium. Have a drink occasionally, but never, never, never get drunk."
"Yes sir," replied his dutiful son, "but how am I to know when I am drunk?"
"Well, you see those two men over there in the corner?" said the father. "If you were to see four men, you'd know you were drunk."
"Dad, let me have the keys," grinned the son. "There's only one guy over there."
One of my college friends asked a group of us for advice on organizing his final report for the year.
"Why don't you use Roman numerals to head the different sections?" another friend suggested.
"I thought of that," he replied. "But my keyboard doesn't have Roman numerals on it."