Past Winners

2/10/2017 To 2/16/2017
$50.00 won 20 votes

When our client’s dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment... an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. “Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find,” he told me.

At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk.

“Believe it or not,” I said, “this is for a sick dog.”

As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two bottles of muscatel and announced, “These are for my cats.”

20 votes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Mary" |
$25.00 won 19 votes

Poodle: “My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is leaving me for a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a cat.”

Collie: “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?”

Poodle: “I can’t. I’m not allowed on the couch.”

19 votes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "stee" |
$15.00 won 16 votes

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby.

“I can’t leave,” the doctor says. “But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.”

The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. “What did the doctor say?” the victim cries.

“He says you’re gonna die.”

16 votes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Mounika" |
$12.00 won 15 votes

My friend has a bad habit of overdrawing her bank account.

One day before we went shopping, I complained about my lack of funds and lamented, “Guess I’ll use plastic.”

Unconcerned, she whipped out her checkbook, “That's okay, I’m using rubber.”

15 votes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "sravanthi" |