My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.
Me: “How do you know it was going to school?”
Interviewer: "Your resume says you take things too literally."
Me: “When the hell did my resume learn to talk?”
Terry slammed his cards on the table and left the game in a huff.
"Boy," said another player disgustingly, "I really hate playing cards with a bad loser."
"He isn't very pleasant," another player said, raking in the chips, "but it's better than playing with a good winner."