A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the sunny Caribbean. They were discussing their great vacations when the lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything."
That is quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."
The lawyer, quite puzzled, asked, "How do YOU start a flood?"
I took my bicycle to the liquor store the other day. I got a bottle of vodka and put it in the bike's basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell the bottle would break. So, I drank all the vodka and then headed home.
It turned out to be a really good decision, because I fell nine times on my way home.