Past Winners

A husband went to the refrigerator and checked to see what was edible.

He found a salad in a container and called to his wife, “How long has this salad been around?”

She replied, “I don’t know. It’s probably lost its dressing.”

I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus.

And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.

A man had recently moved and was filling out forms at his local police station:

Q: Has your driver's license ever been suspended or revoked?

"No, never."

Q: Have you ever been convicted of a DUI?

"Oh yes, lots of times!"

Q: Have you ever been convicted of a driving-related felony?

"Yeah, three of them."

At this point, the officer stopped to ask: "Well wait a minute, if you have all of these DUIs and felonies, how come your license has never been suspended or revoked?"

The man responds: "Never got one."

The swordfish has few predators in the wild.

Except for the rare penfish, which is said to be mightier.