Past Winners

It's been really hot this summer.

The other day I saw a robin pulling a worm out of the ground using potholders.

My wife asked me what my favorite time to have sex was?

Apparently "when you're at work" was the wrong answer.

A man is buying a suit from a local tailor. "I need to warn you," he says, as the tailor is taking his measurements. "That I won't be able to pay for this suit for three months."

"That's quite all right, sir," the tailor replies.

"By the way," the man asks, "when will it be ready?"

"In three months."

Today I scared the mailman by going to the door in my underwear.

I don't know what scared him more, seeing me in my underwear or the fact that I knew where he lived.