Past Winners

5/7/2021 To 5/14/2021
$25.00 won 4 votes

My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Danny Jackson" |
5/7/2021 To 5/14/2021
$15.00 won 3 votes

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" my daughter asked.

"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been. It's dirty and probably has germs," I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart."

I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

"OH...I get it!" she beamed. "So if you don't pass the test, then you have to be the daddy?"

"Exactly," I replied back, with a big smile on my face.

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
5/7/2021 To 5/14/2021
$12.00 won 2 votes

One Saturday evening a man walked into a bar and said, "Excuse me, I would like a pint of beer." The bartender served the man his drink and said, "That will be four dollars." The customer pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and handed it to the bartender.

"Sorry, sir," the bartender said, "but I can't accept that."

So the man pulls out a ten-dollar bill, and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the puzzled man asked the barkeep.

Pointing to a neon sign behind the bar, the bartender explained, "This is a Singles Bar."

2 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "merk" |
5/7/2021 To 5/14/2021
$10.00 won 3 votes

I pulled a muscle digging for gold...

No worries though, it's just a miner injury.

3 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "greens52" |