A horse had won a gallop role in a dozen TV Westerns in a single week. He neighed to a colt in the next stall, "All this churning of the midnight oil is wearing me down. I no longer know if I am coming or going."
"You can't continue this way," agreed the colt. "Why not consult your veterinarian? He'll probably prescribe complete rest."
"Not a chance," sighed the horse wearily. "He's also my agent."
I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry...
He had selfie steam issues.
Why do astronauts use Linux?
Because you can't open windows in space.
I got called pretty today...
The full statement was “you’re pretty annoying”, but I only focus on positive things.