Past Winners

A horse had won a gallop role in a dozen TV Westerns in a single week. He neighed to a colt in the next stall, "All this churning of the midnight oil is wearing me down. I no longer know if I am coming or going."

"You can't continue this way," agreed the colt. "Why not consult your veterinarian? He'll probably prescribe complete rest."

"Not a chance," sighed the horse wearily. "He's also my agent."

I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry...

He had selfie steam issues.

Why do astronauts use Linux?

Because you can't open windows in space.

I got called pretty today...

The full statement was “you’re pretty annoying”, but I only focus on positive things.