Past Winners

I took my cat’s meds by accident...

Don’t ask meow.

After doing laundry, I was putting my clean socks in the top dresser drawer when suddenly the bottom drawer sprang open and smacked me in the shins.

I bent over to close the bottom drawer and the top drawer sprang open and clipped me on the forehead. No sooner did I stand up and close the top drawer when the bottom drawer sprang open again and smacked my chins again.

So, I learned an important lesson in life: When one drawer closes, another drawer opens!

I was talking with my mother-in-law about our daughter's picky eating habits.

"She refuses to eat fish," I told her. "Any recommendations for a replacement?"

She thought a moment, then answered, "Cats. They love fish."

We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance.

At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?"

There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."