Past Winners

"For heaven's sake, Chris, why can't you talk to me once in a while?" Julie whined.

"What?" Chris replied.

"Look around!" Julie yelled, as she pointed around the room. "Look at all these books! You always have your head buried in a book! You don't even seem to know I'm alive!"

"I'm sorry, honey," Chris said.

"Sometimes I wish I were a book. Maybe then you'd at least look at me!" Julie exclaimed.

"Hmmmm," Chris mumbled, "that's not such a bad idea. Then I could take you to the library every few days and change you for something more interesting."

I don’t always go the extra mile...

But when I do, it's because I missed my exit!

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records.

At one point the auditor exclaimed, ''Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile.''

''Thank goodness,'' returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face, ''I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash.''

After my 91-year-old mother finished having her hair cut and shaped, the stylist announced, “There, now you look ten years younger!”

My mother, un­impressed, replied, “Who wants to look 81 years old?”