Past Winners

How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they have to do it while you're eating dinner.

My daughter was working for the American Embassy in Australia when she was expecting her first child. I was so happy when she texted me with the news.

"I'm a grandfather!" I said to my coworkers.

"When was she born?" somebody queried.

Recalling the date she told me, I thought for a minute and said in a calm voice, "Tomorrow!"

I don't know why most people think a dog's life is so easy.

Every time I come home from work, I ask my dog how his day went.

He always says, "Rough!"

Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

A: A private tutor.