“Daddy, I inherited my intelligence from you, didn’t I?”
“That’s right my clever girl!”
“That makes sense, because mommy still has hers.”
Women call me ugly occasionally, but that’s only until they hear how much money I make...
Then they say I’m poor and ugly.
There was a sign hanging in the window of a dry cleaners I passed by.
It read: "So-and-So Dry Cleaners. Working on the same spot for 72 years!"
Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Mother: Why didn’t you use a coaster?