A husband got his mother-in-law a cemetery plot for Christmas. It came with a coffin, tomb stone, the works.
Next Christmas comes by and the husband gets her nothing. The mother-in-law asks, "Why didn't you get me a gift?"
The husband says, "You haven't used the one I got you last year."
One Easter Sunday morning as the pastor was preaching a children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg.
He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"
"I know, I know!" a little boy exclaimed, "Pantyhose!"
I was eating lunch on the 18th of February with my 10-year-old grandson and I asked him, "What day is tomorrow?"
He said, "It's President's Day!"
I asked, "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln, etc.
He replied, "President's Day is when the President steps out of the White House. If he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment."