holiday jokes

Category: "Holiday Jokes"
3 votes

As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.

"You can't do that," argued my four-year-old.

"Don't worry. Santa will never know."

He shot me a look. "So he knows if I've been bad or good, but he doesn't know if you dropped a cookie on the floor?"

3 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$8.00 won 7 votes

It must be almost Christmas....

.... because I just saw Easter eggs for sale.

7 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Gegg Smith" |
0 votes

10. Boy, if I had not recently shot up two sizes, that would've fit.

9. It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me.

8. Perfect for wearing in the basement.

7. Well, well, well...

6. I really don't deserve this.

5. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!

4. I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

2. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.

1. To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

0 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |
3 votes

Elf: "Santa, we have finished making mints for every child."

Santa: "Mints?"

Elf: "Yeah, you said make Altoids."

Santa: "I said make all toys."

Elf: "Altoids!"

Santa: "All toys."

Elf: "Well this is a disappoint-mint."

3 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "eslippin" |