Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something related to or associated with Christmas.
The first man searches his pockets and finds mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a candy cane, so he is also allowed in.The third man pulls out a pair of stockings.
Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?"
A husband got his mother-in-law a cemetery plot for Christmas. It came with a coffin, tomb stone, the works.
Next Christmas comes by and the husband gets her nothing. The mother-in-law asks, "Why didn't you get me a gift?"
The husband says, "You haven't used the one I got you last year."