Every Easter our church stages an elaborate pageant. Last year the man who played Pontius Pilate had to work on the night of the dress rehearsal, and a chorus member substituted for him.
As we began rehearsing Pilate’s solo, the conductor stopped the orchestra. “Pilate, I don’t hear you,” he called out. “You’re not loud enough.”
“Pilate is at work,” a voice on the stage shouted back. “We’ve got our co-Pilate tonight.”
A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but—wanting to make sure each bulb worked—she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up.
“Great,” she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed.
“I don’t want this box,” she said abruptly. “It’s been opened.”
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
A: He was having a bad hare day!
Q: How does the Easter bunny keep his fur neat?
A: With a harebrush!
Q: What kind of books do rabbits like?
A: Ones with hoppy endings!
Q: Why shouldn't you tell an Easter egg a good joke?
A: It might crack up!
Q: Why does the Easter bunny have a shiny nose?
A: Because the powder puff is on the other end!
Q: What did one colored egg say to the other?
A: "Heard any good yolks lately"?
Q: How do you catch the Easter Bunny?
A: Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot!
Q: How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket?
A: Only one. After that, it's not empty!
Q: Why did the Easter egg hide?
A: He was a little chicken!