holiday jokes

Why do gingerbread men not have teeth?

Because they are prone gingivitis.

A little girl is in the kitchen watching her mother prepare for the following day's Christmas dinner.

She asks, "Mommy, can I please have a cat for Christmas?"

Her mommy replies, "No honey, you'll have turkey just like the rest of us."

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, he asked her the usual question, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, "Didn't you get my text?"

I was doing some baking for the holidays, so I was kneading dough. It was getting late and I was tired so, I decided to leave the cleanup mess until the next morning.

The next morning, I was getting my coffee and I noticed thousands of little tiny footprints in the flour on the countertop.

Needless to say, I wasted no time calling the FBI.

They confirmed that I did, in fact, have Ant-Tracks.

Yikes!