holiday jokes

TOP TEN GIFTS YOUR WIFE DOESN'T WANT FOR CHRISTMAS...

10. A car wash kit
9. A table saw
8. Two all-day passes to Best Buy's Home Theatre Installation Seminar
7. A case of oil
6. Five-year subscription to Sports Illustrated

5. Custom engraved bowling ball
4. New outboard motor for fishing boat
3. Rambo Trilogy on DVD
2. New satellite dish with sports package
1. Three-year membership to Weight Watchers Clinic

What did the snowman say when he felt he was misunderstood?

Did you get my drift?

Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus were reviewing letters from children when Santa said, "I just don't know if I can grant this wish. It is impossible."

"What are they asking for?" she inquired.

"Alligator shoes," he said.

"We have all kinds of alligator shoes, what is the problem?"

"They did not give me the shoe size of the alligator."

After all the little children finished visiting Santa at the big mall, a 20 year old young lady went up and sat on Santa's knee. "I want to ask for just one thing for Christmas," she said, "and it is for my momma."

Santa replied, "I usually only answer little children, but since it is for your momma go ahead and ask me what she would like for Christmas."

"She would really, really love a handsome son-in-law."