holiday jokes

Santa walks into the psychiatrist's office very upset.

"Why Santa," says the psychiatrist,"Why are you here?"

"I can't deliver the presents to the children's homes!!!" replies Santa.

"Well, what's the problem?" asks the psychiatrist.

"I don't know," says Santa, "I get very scared and anxious and just can't go down the chimney. What is it Doctor?

"Do you know what's wrong with me?" asks Santa.

"Yes," says the psychiatrist,"I know exactly what's wrong with you, Santa. You are suffering from CLAUS-trophia!"

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

One day Dan asks Bob, “So Bob what did you get for Christmas?”

Then Bob says to Dan, “Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?”

Dan says, “OOOOH WOW!!!”

Bob says, “Ya, I got the same exact color tie!”

Why is Christmas like a day at the office?

Because, you do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.