holiday jokes

I once bought my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “Toys not included.”

59 years ago I got my first picture taken with Santa, just found out it was with Grandma.

My neighbor and I were talking, when he brought up the fact they were going to travel abroad over the holidays to Beijing, China.

I said, "Oh that's nice, after the first of the year we too are going to travel."

He said, "Oh where are you all going?"

I said, "Well we are excited, were going to Walmart to see all the new Chinese products."

Rick, my husband, and I had a hectic holiday schedule encompassing careers, teenagers, shopping, and all the required doings of the season.

Running out of time, I got the stationer to print our signature on our Christmas cards, instead of signing each one.

Soon we started getting cards from friends signed "The Modest Morrisons,"

"The Clever Clarks," and "The Successful Smiths."

Then it hit me.

I had mailed out a hundred cards neatly imprinted with "Happy Holidays from the Rich Armstrongs."