How does Santa keep the weeds out of his garden?
With a Hoe-Hoe-Hoe.
TOP TEN GIFTS YOUR WIFE DOESN'T WANT FOR CHRISTMAS...
10. A car wash kit
9. A table saw
8. Two all-day passes to Best Buy's Home Theatre Installation Seminar
7. A case of oil
6. Five-year subscription to Sports Illustrated
5. Custom engraved bowling ball
4. New outboard motor for fishing boat
3. Rambo Trilogy on DVD
2. New satellite dish with sports package
1. Three-year membership to Weight Watchers Clinic
What did the snowman say when he felt he was misunderstood?
Did you get my drift?
Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus were reviewing letters from children when Santa said, "I just don't know if I can grant this wish. It is impossible."
"What are they asking for?" she inquired.
"Alligator shoes," he said.
"We have all kinds of alligator shoes, what is the problem?"
"They did not give me the shoe size of the alligator."